CLWho83

C.L. Who

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The Captain Vs The Computer by CLWho83, literature

Literature

The Captain Vs The Computer

Captain Jakob Church, Captain of the UPS Constitution, first officer Commander Keps Eke’eks a tall quasi insectoid with a grasshopper-like face, Doctor Leon McKee, and Engineer Barnard Alba stood in a room on a wayward colony ship. The Colony ship was heading towards a black hole when the Constitution stumbled upon it. Upon teleporting over they found the population under control of a computer calling itself Lord Protector. “We need to destroy the computer if we are going to take control of the ship,” said Captain Church. First officer Keps responded pronouncing its ts and ds with clicks, bs and ps with lower pitched clicks and its ks and gs with guttural clicks: “Re etenpt te get te te kenpeters kenpenents we be met wet a hestew respense frem the prests." “What the hell you sayin’ you ugly green skinned insectoid?” Doctor McKee, rudely asked, in a Carolina accent. “Speak English!” Keps responded in its language, a series of sounds and clicks translating to: “I’m saying more than

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The Captain Vs The Computer by CLWho83, literature

Literature

The Captain Vs The Computer

10 One Sentence Stories Lines heard by Saint Peter by CLWho83, literature

Literature

10 One Sentence Stories Lines heard by Saint Peter

He stood at the gates of heaven, before Saint Peter, covered in sewage, with an embarrassed expression and said: “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” “There was water everywhere, so I drank it.” “I don’t know how my boy turned out so bad, I beat ‘em every day.” “I know you had faith in Jesus but you were an ass hole and we don’t like ass holes up here,” Peter told Billy Robinson. “If they didn’t want a cat playing with a candle, why did they let me near it?” “Hey, I always drove better when I was drunk before.” Saint Peter looked at the man and pronounced his judgment: “Given all the evil you did and how much you would enjoy hell, I sentence you to heaven.” “I strapped on the vest but I had a short fuse.“ The Dumbass “Okay, so let me get this straight, a troll climbing to have high level security clearance, said a bunch of cryptic nonsense that people turned into an insane and self contradictory conspiracy theory, that somehow involved an attack on the capital of a

Dungeon of Dan's Destine by CLWho83, literature

Literature

Dungeon of Dan's Destine

Our heroes walked through the Dungeon of Dan’s Destine, just trying to get through it. The main road was flooded, the roundabout route was covered in dead trees from a storm, and the forest spontaneously ignited when the party tried to go through it, so the dungeon was the shortest path. Deep into the dungeon they come upon two guards standing between two doors. “To pass you must figure out our riddle.” one of the guards tells the party. “A riddle?” Wymond Adelina, the powerful wizard, asked rhetorically, “Being the smart one I can answer any riddle you have.” Marcus Miand, the mighty fighter looked at Wymond, Azra Scott the sneaky Rogue rolled her eyes, and Annelie Ian Sean, the caring Cleric suppressed a laugh. “Tell me your riddle.” Wymond ordered, with a prideful smile. “One of us only lies,” One guard said, “The other only tells the truth.” The other guard said. “You may ask one question.” “Oh this one, that is easy,” Wymond cleared his throat and with confidence asked: “If I were

10 One Sentence Stories from the Life of Henry by CLWho83, literature

Literature

10 One Sentence Stories from the Life of Henry

Henry Briggs was born on July 28th, 1985 to Brenda and Harper Briggs. Henry knew that if he did this he would be expelled from school, he’d have to face his father, and his fathers belt, but at that moment he didn’t care. At the first party his parents didn’t know about, in a closet kissing a girl for the first time he felt a rise in his pants, a rise he had not been taught about. Henry looked at his mother, after drinking his third beer of the day, and told her “I don’t fucking care if he dies!” “I broke all my New Year's Resolutions by January second.” Henry took the last drink he will ever drink, for the fifth time this year. “I-” he paused, “-did love you.” Henry woke up in the worst motel he had ever seen in a part of town he feared to go to, with a hangover that could kill most people. “I lived a life of wealth and privilege but without happiness or joy.” By the time I realized I had wasted my life, it was over.

Ten One Sentence Stories by CLWho83, literature

Literature

Ten One Sentence Stories

The epitaph read: He died the way he lived, stupidly. I came, I a saw, I screamed, I wet myself and I passed out. The rain reminded me of where I was, the desert. “Though I was surrounded by family I was utterly alone.” The cat saw it move, now it’s broken. “Though I lived in a country surrounded by food we starved.” “Hay, you told me to ‘break a leg’, you pay the medical bills.” “Don’t leave me with the dog,” The teddy bear pleaded “The night started with a drink and ended in a jail cell.” “Don’t worry man, I’m cool,” said the snowman.

Professor Akkad and his Cigarette by CLWho83, literature

Literature

Professor Akkad and his Cigarette

Professor Akkad sat at a messy desk writing in a notebook, reports were displayed on his three monitors, notebooks were stacked on the right side of the table, a two day old bowl of chili was on the left side of the table next to an overflowing ashtray with a lit cigarette. Akkad wasn’t worried about the chili going bad, the whole base was as cold as a refrigerator. He wore a thin orange coat, having gotten used to the cold in his six month stay in the arctic base. The professor took a drag from his cigarette then went back to writing, preferring to write and transcribe onto a computer later. Doctor Wong Krane walked through the open door of the professor's office. He had short black hair, tan skin, and appeared to be of Asian and European mixture, and wore a blue and orange coat. “We can smell your smoke.” The doctor told the professor. “I am so sorry.” Akked responded sarcastically, continuing to write. “You can smoke outside, or quit.” “It’s below zero outside.” “Smoke in the

So Sharp it will Cut You if You Look at It by CLWho83, literature

Literature

So Sharp it will Cut You if You Look at It

“Fireball!” Wizard yelled, casting a spell from as far from the fighting as he could, Rogue snuck behind the Bandit leader back stabbing them, Cleric summed a floating log that knocked a bandit back, while hitting another with her mace, and Fighter ran into battle screaming, slicing through bandits with his sword. The battle finished, the bandits fled, dropping a sword with an ornate sheath. “That was fun.” Fighter said. “I got to fireball people.” Wizard giggled. Rogue picked up the sword. “It looks nice, let’s hawk it.” Cleric took the sword from Rogue, “No, we were tasked with returning it.” “Is it magic?” Fighter asked. “Detect magic.” Wizard cast, “Nope.” “Let me see that.” Fighter requested. He took the sword and unsheathed it. “He told us to leave it in the sheath.” Cleric protested. “We’ll blame any damage on the bandits.” “I like lying.” Rogue said, she looked at Wizard, “You’re smart,” looked at Fighter, “You’re sexy.” “I am smart!” Wizard replied. “Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen

So, where are we going next? The Wizard asked. by CLWho83, literature

Literature

So, where are we going next? The Wizard asked.

“So, where are we going next?” Wizard asked, looking up from his book then back down at it. Fighter looked at the map, “It looks like Yabooty.” “Yabooty?” The Wizard looked at the fighter, “I’ve been there, it's quite big.” “Big?” Rogue asked, twirling a knife, “Yabooty is tiny.” She threw the knife to her side, hitting and pinning a snake to a tree “It’s a little big.” Wizard cast a turn page spell at his book “I’ve seen much bigger.” She pulled out another knife. “Ercooch, that’s a big place.” Fighter said. “Oh yeah, when I lived in Ercooch a hundred men came into Ercooch and there was plenty of room for more.” “Yabooty stinks,” Cleric said resurrecting the snake. “Yabooty needs to be cleaned, somethings just stinks there.” “Ercooch smells like fish but Yabooty just stinks.” Fighter added, “They need to clean that shit.” “It's the mine.” Rogue said, throwing another knife, pinning a butterfly to a tree, “they have a big mine they call the Eyhole. The stink come from Yabooty’s

Light and Black Mist by CLWho83, literature

Literature

Light and Black Mist

A man rows a canoe in a luminous lake. The dim blue glow of the lake water illuminated his man’s copper skin, a light wind blew his black hair. He rowed through the lake to a dock near a black river flowing into the lake. The black water of the river quickly cleared as it mixed with the luminescent lake water. The man abandoned his canoe next to the dock and walked along the river into a forest of black leaved trees. A thin black mist permeated the forest, shadowy creatures hid in the forest watching the man as he walked along the river’s shore, light shining from their eyes dotting the dark forest like stars. Hours away from the luminous lake the man finds a waterfall feeding the black river, a waterfall of normal translucent water. Behind the waterfall a cave was visible. The man squeezed himself between the waterfall and the rock, struggling not to slip on the wet rocks. The black mist blew through the cave but a dim blue light could be seen at the other end of the cave. The man

The Traveler's Journey Starts by CLWho83, literature

Literature

The Traveler's Journey Starts

Kalil looked up at the largest building he had ever seen. It was the size of Manhattan Island and more than thirty stories tall. Above the entrance, the name of the building was written in multiple languages, including his. It was called “Alexandria”. The floor of the lobby, or the lobby in that part of the building, had a large fresco depicting people from many different time periods writing. On the left was a restaurant or coffee shop, on the right was a gift shop, opposite of the entrance, next to what appeared to be elevator doors and a passage going further into the building was a desk with a receptionist, the receptionists skin was slightly orange, her hair was lilac in color, her eyes green, and she had a square jaw. Kalil had seen features like hers, though more exaggerated. The receptionist greeted Kalil, "Welcome to the Alexandrian Library." She said to hum. He understood her, so the translator he had gotten before traveling to then still worked. "'Alexandrian Library'?

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CLWho83

Apr 12, 2024

100 Hour Games are 90 Hours too Long

1 min read

I like games, I play games. In the past few years I've had little time to play games. Between work, other hobbies, and going back to school I've had little time to play. Now I'm between jobs, and between semesters (I was paying for collage myself so loosing my job meant I couldn't pay the last of what I owe so I can't go next semester) yet I still am not spending hours a day playing games. I haven't spent hours a day playing games sense I was a teenager and even then a 60, 80, 100 hour games were too long for me. I prefer a variety of games, I don't just play one game then go to the next when that is done (unless it is very short). So when I hear or read that a game is 30, 40, 50, 100 hours it turns me off, my response is to think that I have better things to do with my time. I don't mean being productive, I mean playing five games instead of one, going for a walks, taking pictures of nature, reading, writing, learning something interesting, etc, being productive is overrated. Continue

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CLWho83

Apr 8, 2024

AI is Doomed

2 min read

I’ve argued that “AI art” is doomed and I’ve put the “AI” hype into the perspective of past tech hype. Now I point out that AI itself is largely doomed. It came out recently that Amazons just walk out service used a thousand Indian Workers to check out (pun intended) what people put in their carts because the AI that was supposed to do that and charge the customers wasn’t good enough. The “just walk out” service was supposed to get rid of it the check out by allowing people to pay when they left the Amazons physical grocery stores (yes Amazon has actual physical stores), it used cameras in the shopping carts to see what people put in the carts than automatically charged them for those items when they left the stores. 70% of the “just walk out” transactions had to be verified by human beings. In reality what “just walk out” did was outsource the check out to India. Amazon is not alone in this, Presto Automation claimed it developed an automated fast food drive through

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CLWho83

Apr 6, 2024

What if Your Values are Evil?

1 min read

You hear some people talking about values, you hear it in the terms “value voter,” and “traditional values”. What these people never ask is “what if my values are wrong”. So many never questions whether their values are good, bad, or evil. People just accept the values they were raised or indoctrinated into with out question or doubt. But the truth is: values can be evil, your values can be evil, regardless of what you think about them... Read more

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CLWho83

Apr 4, 2024

Putting AI Hype into Perspective

1 min read

The hype around "AI" is still high despite the reality of it, so much so that Microsoft seems to be betting Windows 12 on AI. I'm largely immune to hype, I'm middle aged now, and have been interested in technology. I remember a lot technologies that had been the "next big thing" only to fail or at least not live up to their potential. So to put the "AI" hype into perspective, lets explore some of those technologies. Read more

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CLWho83

Mar 14, 2024

You Have to Go Through 99 Bad Ideas

1 min read

You have to go through 99 bad ideas to find one good idea. Then, after hours of work, you realize that one good idea is a bad idea. Repeat 99 time to find one genuinely good idea. Don't be sad, don't get frustrated, every bad idea is a stepping stone to a good one.